Babylon Versus Uruk, Peace or War? Debate of the -26th Century

We may be a bit late to release this article, as the focus of it happened over 4000 years ago, but our main journalists have discovered the secret to time travel and have traveled back in time to view these events, at the cost of 14 school buses full of outdated 17th century Webster English dictionaries and 12 Concorde jets filled with 2019 Cannon Inkjet printers. (This article is barely true, we took a few creative liberties)

Babylon Moves Army to City of Uruk, How long will Peace Last?

Recently, the city of Babylon sent their army to surround the major cities of Mesopotamia, including Uruk. No violence has broken out yet, but a siege may not be as unlikely as it seemed yesterday. The city of Uruk is prepared to fight for the empire they rightfully stole. King Gilgamesh, who was interviewed about 4 thousand years ago, said, "those Babylonians have been eyeing out portion of the Tigris [river] for years, waiting for a chance to steal our fields and crops. I fear the worst." Gilgamesh has recently returned from a 60 year vacation involving battling the goddess Ishtar and crossing the river of death. He is refreshed from the peace and tranquility of his tropical retreat and is prepared to bring glory to his city once more.

When Hammurabi was ruling the Mesopotamian civilization, he tried to make sure that none of the city-states would conflict like this. If a war does break out, the instability would likely lead to a Babylonian victory. "If our armies emerge victorious from this many year long war, we shall rule the entire Tigris and Euphrates land, also we will own that space station from that TV show  (will be built in the year 3215)," King Sabium of Babylon was quoted to say.

However, the two opposing kings are meeting to discuss a compromise. Gilgamesh plans to sell half of the farms in a neighboring city called Urbalon, which has tried to remain neutral, and a wooden block his son painted that he calls "the standard of Ur." To Gilgamesh, peace seems to be the only option, "I shall try to appease the terror the Babylon has become so we can have a peaceful empire another day." Appeasment may be the only option, and could also prevent war, like the time Chamberlain gave Czechoslovakia to Germany before WW2. The debate is still out, but the agreement has been unofficially made.

To make the situation more tense, the peace conferences were temporarily paused due to all the Babylonian ambassadors complaining about their drinks being poisoned and suddenly dying. They should be fine in a few weeks, but now Sabium is blaming Uruk for the incident. Gilgamesh refuses to claim responsibility for this obvious accidental murder. Sabium may try to wage war for this reason alone. The outcome will be covered in a later article, after our journalists have escaped the cave of eternal darkness. For now, the question is, will peace be achieved, or will war plague the lands of Mesopotamia?

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